Wednesday, April 8, 2009

gravity

Ia kuat, sangat kuat. Ia menarik semua hal di dunia ini agar tetap menjejak, tetap memiliki kaki penghubung ke bumi. Tak bermimpi ditelan cakrawala tinggi. Tidak membiarkan segalanya melompat sesuka hati, menembus langit , terbakar surya, menjadi tiada. Orang-orang berlomba mendefinisikannya, menjadi bagian dari kekuatan dominannya. Para cendekia bersama sepakat, memberinya nama: gravitasi. Bentuk tenaga, tak terlihat namun esensial. Menentukan eksistensi manusia, dan keselamatan segala yang ada.
Aku setuju, kamu dilengkapi bentuk kecil gravitasi. Di mana aku mewakili para makhluk hidup, bumi adalah kamu dan langit adalah mimpi, utopia, terlalu indah untuk jadi nyata. Kamu punya gravitasi, tak terlihat namun selalu berhasil menarikku. Kamulah gravitasi, yang tanpa suara, merangkak di bawah kakiku... tak membiarkannya lepas sedikitpun dari jangkauan bumi, jangkauanmu.
Kamu esensial untukku.

Aku ingin mencoba sedikit rasa dari kesempurnaan, aku ingin menjadi bagian dari khayalan. Khayalan berisi aku yang lengkap dan utuh, tanpamu. Percaya atau tidak, kamulah kenyataan yang tak ingin kudapatkan! Tak ingin kujadikan candu, penyokong hidup... syarat kenyamanan. Aku ingin lari ke langit, jauh darimu, melupakanmu. Tapi kamu terlalu disiplin untuk lalai, terlalu cermat untuk dicurangi. Aku tak punya kendali. Semua ada padamu, gravitasi bagi duniaku yang minor, kamu tetap mendominasi langkahku.
Sebisa mungkin, aku mencoba lari, aku ingin lepas dari gaya tarikmu ini, bahkan melepaskan diri dari hatiku sendiri... aku mencoba. Tapi kamu memang gravitasi, mungkin alam bawah sadarku pun sudah tahu, aku tak bisa semudah itu lolos darimu.
Sekarang, aku kembali, tanpa perkembangan yang pasti
aku membuat lingkaran sempurna, karena
aku kembali jatuh, dalam gravitasimu

Mungkin aku salah, memikirkan sepotong lagu sepanjang hari. Mungkin aku terlalu mellow, menjadikan pemikiran Sara Bareilles yang diberi tajuk gravitasi sebagai pusat duniaku sekarang. Sebagai sepucuk suasana yang berjalan harmonis dengan perlakuanmu,
Atau mungkinkah, kamu memang ada untuk menjadi gravitasi, supaya aku tetap mempercayai kenyataan,

...

...

bahwa aku tak bisa lari darimu, sekeras apapun aku mencoba?

April 8th 2009
*with Sara Bareilles-Gravity while I'm typing

Sunday, April 5, 2009

all that you can hear on my iPod....

is Taylor Swift!!!

mungkin banyak orang yang mandang dy sebelah mata, ato nganggep dy cuma nge-dompleng namanya Joe Jonas doang.
But I think, she's really cool.
Dy bener2 talented, dan dy bener-bener produktif. Dia bener-bener berusaha keluar dari zone di mana dia cuma skandal kecilnya Joe Jonas. Dia berusaha supaya saat orang inget artis-artis muda yang bersinar, orang ngga akan bilang "Miley Cyrus, and that Joe Jonas' ex girlfriend"
dia pengen dikenal sebagai Taylor Swift, musisi country berbakat.
dan gwe kagum sama dia, terlepas dari itu semua. Lagu-lagunya emang asik juga sih di kuping... Kata-katanya simpel, tapi kena banget. Apalagi buat remaja cewe, gwe gatau kalo buat cowo gimana.

Oke, pertama gwe bener-bener 'nyadar' sama Taylor Swift, gwe akui, pas dy nyanyi sama Miley Cyrus di Grammy. Mereka nyanyi lagu Fifteen, yang menurut gwe touching banget. Lagu itu bisa ngewakilin perasaannya hampir semua cewe 15 taun di seluruh belahan dunia. Ah, gila.
Lyrics-nya simpel, bisa mewakili semua feeling. Mulai dari jatuh cinta, kasmaran gila sampe broken heart edan. Mantep.

Ini lyrics Love Story, keren, sangat fairytale... If only, life is this beautiful... hehehe

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;

Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me - they're tryin' to tell me how to feel;
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say "Yes.'"

Oh.

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet - you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"



Hmhm, sooo pretty. Indah banget love story nya. Mungkin banyak di dunia ini yang love storynya kaya gitu, atau malah ga ada??? hhaa, dunno... Off to the next lyric dehhh... Ini judulnya Teardrops on my Guitar, sedih. Highschool banget. Hmmm, sad yet sweet and lovely.

"Teardrops On My Guitar"

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's just so funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:]

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.




Hmm... Which one is me??
Now, I think... the second one represents me the most...
hehehe
But I don't have any teardrops on my guitar, I can't play the guitar.
Teardrops on my piano maybe??

wkwkwk... over and out!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

the wind took them away

Why do I pick that title?
Simply because I am watching Friend's re-run here while typing, and Rachel, Phoebe and Mon are fighting upon a feminist book with some 'wind' analogy there inside the screen. I heard the word 'wind' and I typed it.
... well, details.
Just admit that I couldn't think of any better title, so to speak.

Okay, so... I can't help myself to write something about my current life.
which I would say... what's the word?
oh, yeah right...confusing and...
I dunno how to describe the second word, I was going to say the word 'sucks' but after I give it another think, I realize that it's not suckish enough for me to say the word 'sucks' freely.
Confusing? I know... So, here goes, stop wasting time... chop, chop!

Suddenly, the 14 ED.com last week seems so far away. Like what Teph said over and over again, the competition was more like a free 3 days vacation for us rather than a debating competition. We had fun, we walked around freely, we had a nice chit-chat session until late, we even rode home on a really comfy train (which is not our usual habit). Full of laughs, no place for any type of pressure.
I remember how we joked ourselves when we stepped off the train and headed to our parents
"Welcome back to the reality!"
I THOUGHT it was a joke. Now I realize, it wasn't.
The reality that I'm living now gives me no time to embrace the bubbly feeling that left from ED.com, I need to catch up with the tasks, the tests, the lessons, but don't get me wrong, because I'm okay with that. It's the social life that I'm not okay with,

Suddenly I faced some changes and I didn't see that coming.
Suddenly the most highly anticipated event for me, turns out to be the most minor and uninteresting thing to discuss.
Suddenly I lose my respect on someone, whom I usually adore as the person-who-always-know-what-to-do
Suddenly I lose my excitement in almost every single thing in my life
Suddenly I feel exhausted all the time and I think that I can really use a moment to take a break
Suddenly I doubt the decision that I took
Suddenly I'm not sure if the happiness, the thrill that I felt was really good for me or just a distraction to make me lost my own gravity

Heuhh, I know that if I keep on crying, whining and complaining, it will do no good since it will just turn me into a self-centered kind of human. I know that my problems are nothing compared to some people out there with more huge problems and issues. I know that maybe I'm the one who has everything to do with my own problems, I created it myself, somehow... or maybe it's actually nothing and it becomes a major thing because I'm such a dramaqueen. Possibilities.

I just hope that I will figure them out, a thing or two, so to speak... to save me from this bizzare feelings.
I dunno what to do, and I dunno what to believe
and I'm not happy with that.
I want that bubbly feelings that I had a week ago, I want to embrace the moments and memories, I want to be that happy-go-lucky kind of person again. The one who can go on and choose without too much contemplating, too much thinking.
I want those back, all of them back.
because it seems like
the wind took them away

Monday, March 30, 2009

ED.COM 14... it's fun, it's scandalous!

akhirnyaaa.. gwe balik juga dari Jakarta...
maap ya blognya ditelantarkan, sok sibuk nieehhh... wkwkwk...

Oke, soo the last major (or not so major) thing for me is: ED. COM 14!!!
lomba debat yang diadain sama SMAN 14 Jakarta...

tim SMUKI Bandung adalah:
Team A: Rachel, Yani, Riri
Team B: Rio, Eteph, Alvin

kami berenam resmi ikutan menuh2in SMAn 14 3 hari kemaren...

well, well... tidak seperti yani yang rajin nge-review per prelim, gwe males euy...
hehehe, pokonya team SMUKI Bandung ga ada yang breaking, sedih bangeeettt...
Tapi ga breakingnya buncit sihh... Cuma kurang VP doank, padahal team score nya mayan tinggi, apalagi team B tuh... Wkwkwkwk, ada lagi insiden Media P.O.V yang sialan abis. Tapi yasud lah yaa, nothing to regret. Lagian, meskipun ngga breaking, nama SMUKI Bandung diselamatkan oleh Vicario yang jadi Best Speaker!!! Cieee... prok prok prok....!!!
Gaya deh lo, Rio!!! sembah sujud suhuuu....

Whatever it was, I love ED.COM!


Oia, ada juga sih positifnya breaking announcement itu malem2 pas abis semua prelim... Soalnya begitu tau kita ngga breaking rasanya plong aja gitu. Udah ga ada beban nyari matter dkk. Menggila deh langsung.
Kita yang homestay di rumah Agita (head of comittee ED.COM) balik2 ke hum Agita, mandi dan tetek bengeknya, langsung ngumpul di kamar Danny, Rio, Alvin trus maen.

RAMALAN!!
ditemani Cheetos, Chitato dan banyak jenis cemilan lainnya...

yeyyy, I love this scandalous session!!
Agita, lo ibu ketu, kalem2 ternyata gelo juga kalo udah dipancing. Hahaha, hidup ramalan!

manteb abis dehhh...

oia, ada satu momen geje... Tapi memorable banget.
Waktu hari pertama ED.COM, hujan gede banget tuh sore2... Angin kenceng, rambut udah terbang2 geje.Prelim hari itu udah beres semua...
Saia, Yani dan Rio jalan keluar dari deb's hall, dengan hujan yang udah deras banget, bikin udara jadi dingin lembab, kita bertiga berdiri di balkon lantai 3 SMAN 14 sambil ngeliatin hujan turun. Dan tiba-tiba nyanyi lagu Hujan-Utopia bersama, sambil (sepertinya) sibuk dengan pikiran masing2...

Hahaha, ga bermaksud sok sentimentil... Gwe juga ngikik tiap inget itu

Dan pulangnya, kita pun berinovasi...
Naik kereta!!!
Yay, kami pun sukses menumpangi Argo Gede ke Bandung...

2 jam di kereta diisi dengan sedikit ngobrol2
sedikit gegeloan
sedikit ngitung2 pengeluaran
sedikit tidur

2 jam di kereta bikin gwe terpaksa buat mikir-mikir dan merenung sedikit.
Well, well.. Gwe memang lagi jatuh cinta sama lagu Cinta Jangan Kau Pergi versinya Vidi Aldiano.
Dan sialnya, lagu ini yang biasa gwe nyanyi2in ringan... malah bikin gwe makin merenung.

Tentang beberapa hal dalam bulan-bulan terkahir ini...
Tentang masa kelas X gwe yang mayan bikin puyeng
Tentang beberapa set flip-flop gwe bareng Rio
(yang selalu gwe isi dengan wish yang sama)
well, wish nya Rio terkabul, dy best speaker...
Saia juga jadi ikutan mikirin, gimana nasib wish saia??
Tentang dia... dan hal tersembunyi lainnya.

So, as the train slowed down
as Vidi's voice faded out to meet the end of the song

I had my confession.
I've made up my mind.
I've decided something.

I've made a promise to myself.
And I'll keep it.
Hope I'll be fine...
Still have some faith on that flip-flops anyway... hahaha...

over and out, see ya!