So we're here, 28th of Dec 2009.
Close to the end of the year, and somehow my fingers were tickled to click Blogger.
About 2009, well what can I say?
I can't say that it's the best year in my life, not the worst either. It's just... fine. Wonderful in its own way. The pain and the joy, the euphoria, the tears, they all collide perfectly, make a nice memory in my head. Sealed another nice year added to my 15 years.
And I am grateful. I totally am.
So, in 2009... I face hospital for the first time.
Okay. Wrong. I've faced it obliviously when I was a baby. However, this one is my first, what should I call it, stay? in hospital. conscious.
I spent 4 days at the hospital, blood test every single day *made my right arm all numb*, all that. And until now, I don't even know what the disease was specifically. I even passed my 16th birthday there. What a nice way to celebrate huh?
Well, I did celebrate. twice. First, at the hospital when 2 of my PDA buds brought a cake and all those stuff. And I still remember the coach said "Chel, yang nunjukin lo sakit cuma infus doang tau." Geez.
Then, right when I came home from the hospital, ready to whine and mourn over my pile of school assignments and tests to catch up. I found all of my bestfriends in front of my house. And that was the celebration, second part. Cakes, presents, all those stuff again. Then, we sang together noisily, I was surprised the neighbors didn't complain.
every clouds has a silver lining.
See? I was sick, and I shouldn't be able to celebrate ANYTHING. but I didn't lose any celebration, I got it anyway. twice.
Next, in 2009, I knew debate
Okay, I knew debate in the late 2008 actually, but I actually DEBATE in competitions in 2009. Four competitions, and the highest position me and my team got was the 4th. KompEk UI as semifinalist fourth position, and WJSDC, fourth on the standing.
No trophy, no prizes, just certificates, YET. True. But I got a new life, God bless the day I joined Phyxius English Debating Association. I learned so much, I had fun, I earned a huge number of friends, and at least I got some certificates huh? Getting those kind of achievement is always good. See? Grateful.
In 2009, I attended XI Grade IPA Class.
I wasn't that obsessive about IPA then, I'm not that kind of student who worships IPA Class so much now. But during X Grade I did work my ass out to get some serious number of scores, not too magnificent but I at least enough to give me the freedom to choose between these two classes. Thank God I got it. And I chose IPA. I totally understand where I was getting myself into. The urgency of those additional classes afterschool for the science subjects and stuff. But then, again I'm grateful. Here, I learn to be a student. I start to feel my obligation to study, and it came from myself. I realized that, before, that usually come from other people, my parents especially. I also feel motivated seeing my all so devoted friends. And now, I'm used to those study session together at Paskal Hyper Square's foodcourt, Biology tutoring afterschool in the canteen. Thanks to them who made it easier. Grateful.
In 2009, I started to learn one more language.
As XI Grade started, I also attended a class at CCF Bandung. I learned French. This thing I've wanted to do since, I don't know when. And true, I'm just a beginner, I can hardly speak this language, let alone masterize it. And true, this language is so damn hard. But with some years of learning, I will surely get a grip on that, right? And again, I'm grateful, here besides the language learning, I also met so many new friends. New various. Fellow highschool-ers, college kids, even professionals. True, we only meet twice a week, but we're stuck learning this hard language together, right? haha
In 2009... err, okay
I'm also grateful here. I still remember my prayer at the end of last year. I wished for someone that I can relate to, someone close and *hopefully* can understand me.
And guess what?
This year I had my first... what? crush? love? whatever word that can describe you, mister.
I'm happy and of course GRATEFUL, having you around. Not that we're something special, I know we're just... regular. Not that I'm still hoping to change that situation too, I'm done waiting. I've waited this whole year, and that's enough. But I can't get enough of you, not now, when you're a part of my day already. So I'm not planning to take off, disappear, turn my back on you or anything. I'm happy that I have you, and I hope that I will still have you in 2010. As anything that God wants you to be for me. I said that I'm done waiting, but I'm still open for some kind of miracles, at the same time. *a little embarrassing confession there* Hmm?
There, that was my 2009.
God has made my days in His way this year. And I love every single one of it.
I wished for things, He gave it, he didn't. That's not the point. The point is, He still gave it His way. He keeps our past, He watches our present and He sees our future, so who knows better? Not us.
Whine a little, upset a little. We are human. Unwanted situations SHOULD bother us. But get over it as fast as you can, live your life, make the most of it, make it good to live. In the end, you can see the beauty of those flaws, how perfect your imperfect life is.
And now I sound like a preacher. Of course I did some unnecessary whining too, but believe me I try to practice what I preach, enjoying life is more fun than crying over things that doesn't exist obviously. So let's just learn together, we're beginner here. :)
It's midnight, I'll have to end this. And also want to say that this will be my last post here at blogger.com
Why? Because of my lack of desire to write, unlike before. So, to avoid adding cyber pollution by keep writing unnecessary crap *you see sometimes I dump all my nonsense here* I think it's best for me to close this blog. Not for good, of course, duh. But I'll survive with just twitter as a miniblog for now. I don't know when I'll start blogging again, but even if I've found the right time, I won't be writing here anymore. Planning on tumblr though. haha.
Over and out, guys. seriously!
see ya around ... :)
Showing posts with label merenung. Show all posts
Showing posts with label merenung. Show all posts
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
these distractions
I Love...
the smell of fresh jasmine tea, ready to drink.
remembering the smell of people close to me
the fact that I don't cry easily because of my own experience, makes it easier to get over
the fact that I DO cry easily for others experience, makes me a more caring less ignorant person
screaming, shouting, yelling
a school-day without having any lessons, just fun activities
the smell of the air from a newly turned on air conditioner
the idea of a guy hugging his girl around her waist from behind to surprise her, it's just sweet.
a sad-ending for fiction novels
a happy ending for television series
a bitter-sweet ending for movies
super sad sentimental songs
super sweet lovey dovey songs
super bitchy songs *especially this one*
the smell of bookstores
rubbing my feet on my bed sheet before I fall to sleep
mozarella cheese
salty food
any food that contains cheese and eggs
seeing a good blood related brother-sister relationships, sweet.
a rather rough yet romantic male voice
noodles. ALL KINDS OF THEM.
the friendly, green yet sophisticated atmosphere of Universitas Indonesia, Depok
rather sentimental love quotes
daydreaming alone, imagining how I want things to be
having a nice girl-talk with my besties
***
I once read a really cool writing that said,
we all know that at one point, we'll meet the end of our lives
so basically this whole things that we call as 'life' is just some sort of distractions from that certain end. and that's why people are dying to try to make their own distractions for a nice life.
and those list before, I'll consider them as my distractions
simple things that keep me alive.
simple things that I, simply love.
remembering the smell of people close to me
the fact that I don't cry easily because of my own experience, makes it easier to get over
the fact that I DO cry easily for others experience, makes me a more caring less ignorant person
screaming, shouting, yelling
a school-day without having any lessons, just fun activities
the smell of the air from a newly turned on air conditioner
the idea of a guy hugging his girl around her waist from behind to surprise her, it's just sweet.
a sad-ending for fiction novels
a happy ending for television series
a bitter-sweet ending for movies
super sad sentimental songs
super sweet lovey dovey songs
super bitchy songs *especially this one*
the smell of bookstores
rubbing my feet on my bed sheet before I fall to sleep
mozarella cheese
salty food
any food that contains cheese and eggs
seeing a good blood related brother-sister relationships, sweet.
a rather rough yet romantic male voice
noodles. ALL KINDS OF THEM.
the friendly, green yet sophisticated atmosphere of Universitas Indonesia, Depok
rather sentimental love quotes
daydreaming alone, imagining how I want things to be
having a nice girl-talk with my besties
horror movies for watching with friends
romantic comedy for watching with the girls (or alone)
family comedy for watching alone
and of course, the last but definitely not least
having a new message on my cell and find your name when I press 'open'
romantic comedy for watching with the girls (or alone)
family comedy for watching alone
and of course, the last but definitely not least
having a new message on my cell and find your name when I press 'open'
***
I once read a really cool writing that said,
we all know that at one point, we'll meet the end of our lives
so basically this whole things that we call as 'life' is just some sort of distractions from that certain end. and that's why people are dying to try to make their own distractions for a nice life.
and those list before, I'll consider them as my distractions
simple things that keep me alive.
simple things that I, simply love.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
gempa dan Friday
mungkin pada denger di berita ya, ada gempa gede mengguncang pulau Jawa yang berpusat di Tasikmalaya. well, Bandung juga kena imbasnya. Kena gempa, meskipun ngga segede yang di Tasik, tapi cukup gede buat bikin banyak orang shock dan terpingsan pingsan.
waktu itu gw lagi di tempat les Mafiki, tempatnya di Paskal Hyper Square, dan gw lagi belajar Fisika di lantai 2, tepatnya di kelas yang dindingnya kaca semua. Tau2 goyang kenceng, dan butuh waktu cukup lama buat kita semua untuk 'ngeh'. Awalnya cuma planga-plongo aja liat-liatan satu sama lain, bertanya2 di kepala masing. Baru sadar beberapa menit kemudian, itu beneran gempa! Lari keluar, dan ternyata kita yang terakhir keluar. Semua orang ngga se 'lambat' kita kayanya... Tapi teteup ajah, ini kaki lemes setengah mampus, dan akhirnya duduk juga gw di trotoar sambil doa... Soalnya gw serem banget liat sekeliling masih goyang, lampu jalan, Amnesia... Semua keliatan bergetar2 aja ngga berenti2... I was wondering to myself, how long will this keep going? I'm scared already! Sampe beberapa menit masih ada gempa2 susulan, dan akhirnya... ngga ada yang berani belajar di lantai 2. Kita akhirnya belajar di bawah, tapi teteup ga konsen, akhirnya pulang juga...
Ga jauh2, gw cuma liat ini sebagai peringatan, selama ini Bandung terasa sangaaatt 'aman', hampir ga ada apa2, mungkin kita jadi kurang waspada juga. Udah terbiasa melihat segala sesuatunya terjadi di tempat lain. Selama ini gw juga ngerasa kalo liat berita dan terjadi natural disaster di tempat lain(earthquake, tsunami, anything) gw mungkin cuma peduli di awal2 dan kesananya malah bosan, padahal bayangin berapa ribu orang yang menderita gara2 bencana kaya gitu. Penderitaan mereka ngga berakhir meskipun beritanya udah ngga disiarin lagi... Dan setelah ngerasain sendiri gempa yang cukup gede, I get it, it's not minor. It's drop dead scary. Tuhan pengen kita lebih peduli, itu menurut pandangan gw.
Serem juga efeknya di kota2 yang kena gempa... May God bless us all...
Oke, that was about the earthquake. on the lighter side... akhirnyaaa... GW DAPET JUGA ALBUMNYA RAN!!
Yes peeps, it's RAN's newest album, Friday!
akhirnya, setelah beberapa kali ngejar ke disctarra, dan ngga ada terus... akhirnya... DAPET JUGA!. This album is like the Indonesia album of the year for me... nunggu2 banget dehhh, sayang waktu launchingnya Kamis, ga mungkin pergi, di Jakarta pula... Tapi ga apa-apa dehhh, coz the waiting is over... Now I'm listening to this album over and over again, and I've already found my favorite!
Recommended tracks: Karena Kusuka Dirimu, T.G.I Friday, Piano (feat. Andi Rianto), Jadi Gila!
Bukan berarti yang laen ga oke siihh, tapi ini yang paling paling palinggggg gw suka. Nice work boys!
hehehehe,,,
waktu itu gw lagi di tempat les Mafiki, tempatnya di Paskal Hyper Square, dan gw lagi belajar Fisika di lantai 2, tepatnya di kelas yang dindingnya kaca semua. Tau2 goyang kenceng, dan butuh waktu cukup lama buat kita semua untuk 'ngeh'. Awalnya cuma planga-plongo aja liat-liatan satu sama lain, bertanya2 di kepala masing. Baru sadar beberapa menit kemudian, itu beneran gempa! Lari keluar, dan ternyata kita yang terakhir keluar. Semua orang ngga se 'lambat' kita kayanya... Tapi teteup ajah, ini kaki lemes setengah mampus, dan akhirnya duduk juga gw di trotoar sambil doa... Soalnya gw serem banget liat sekeliling masih goyang, lampu jalan, Amnesia... Semua keliatan bergetar2 aja ngga berenti2... I was wondering to myself, how long will this keep going? I'm scared already! Sampe beberapa menit masih ada gempa2 susulan, dan akhirnya... ngga ada yang berani belajar di lantai 2. Kita akhirnya belajar di bawah, tapi teteup ga konsen, akhirnya pulang juga...
Ga jauh2, gw cuma liat ini sebagai peringatan, selama ini Bandung terasa sangaaatt 'aman', hampir ga ada apa2, mungkin kita jadi kurang waspada juga. Udah terbiasa melihat segala sesuatunya terjadi di tempat lain. Selama ini gw juga ngerasa kalo liat berita dan terjadi natural disaster di tempat lain(earthquake, tsunami, anything) gw mungkin cuma peduli di awal2 dan kesananya malah bosan, padahal bayangin berapa ribu orang yang menderita gara2 bencana kaya gitu. Penderitaan mereka ngga berakhir meskipun beritanya udah ngga disiarin lagi... Dan setelah ngerasain sendiri gempa yang cukup gede, I get it, it's not minor. It's drop dead scary. Tuhan pengen kita lebih peduli, itu menurut pandangan gw.
Serem juga efeknya di kota2 yang kena gempa... May God bless us all...
Oke, that was about the earthquake. on the lighter side... akhirnyaaa... GW DAPET JUGA ALBUMNYA RAN!!
Yes peeps, it's RAN's newest album, Friday!
akhirnya, setelah beberapa kali ngejar ke disctarra, dan ngga ada terus... akhirnya... DAPET JUGA!. This album is like the Indonesia album of the year for me... nunggu2 banget dehhh, sayang waktu launchingnya Kamis, ga mungkin pergi, di Jakarta pula... Tapi ga apa-apa dehhh, coz the waiting is over... Now I'm listening to this album over and over again, and I've already found my favorite!
Recommended tracks: Karena Kusuka Dirimu, T.G.I Friday, Piano (feat. Andi Rianto), Jadi Gila!
Bukan berarti yang laen ga oke siihh, tapi ini yang paling paling palinggggg gw suka. Nice work boys!
hehehehe,,,
Sunday, August 30, 2009
this week
for me?
it was a roller coaster ride. One day was nice, one day was fun, one day I stayed up almost till dawn to finish my assignments, one day I went to bed so early since I didn't have anything to do, and the others were just plain and standard. that's what you get when you ask a high-school girl. But if you're talking about a country, it won't be the same.
so I was chatting with my friend when this news broke the TV. A Taruna at ATKP Medan died while he was doing his OSPEK (u know that junior-senior thingie). He died with one of his backbone broken, his eyelid was torn and his lips were bleeding. What a tragic thing, especially when it took place in an education body. I thought we are already in a modern age, where everyone has totally understand what is and isn't necessary in education.
Seriously people, do you think you get smarter or more intelligent if you are hit? Because as far as I know, the results are only pain, wounds, and moreover... death.
And for those (so called) senior who hit him and caused his death, well, are you happy now? To see one of your junior die because of your totally childish behavior, and to see his mother actually mourned and cried over her son's body endlessly. If that's your goal then, I congratulate you since your mission seems to be accomplished. And yes, I'm so mad about this news, it's not the first time in our country and the government always say that they have take care about that kind of thing. Which we can see isn't true since the same case happened again, and again, and again. We all know, that kind of institution only accept students with high academic achievement, superior body condition and HUGE brain capability. So we actually lost our best children each time this kind of case happen. Seriously, people. Stop being such a bighead just because you're a senior. It's just so immature.
Next thing is about stealing, copying and plagiarism.
and yes, I was talking about that Malaysia thingie.
I just want to say that, maybe overreacting is the last thing that we need to do right now. No use at all. Why don't we try to make those Malaysian people realize that our country is such a rich country, and their acts just make the world realize how poor they are for not having any culture of their own to be proud of? I'm not saying that we need to remain calm always while our wealth are stolen, no. Still, we need to protect our own culture too, they have stolen enough. Start promoting our treasure to the world, that way they will know who's the owner and who's the thieve right?
So that's all I want to write.
over and out, nite folks.
it was a roller coaster ride. One day was nice, one day was fun, one day I stayed up almost till dawn to finish my assignments, one day I went to bed so early since I didn't have anything to do, and the others were just plain and standard. that's what you get when you ask a high-school girl. But if you're talking about a country, it won't be the same.
so I was chatting with my friend when this news broke the TV. A Taruna at ATKP Medan died while he was doing his OSPEK (u know that junior-senior thingie). He died with one of his backbone broken, his eyelid was torn and his lips were bleeding. What a tragic thing, especially when it took place in an education body. I thought we are already in a modern age, where everyone has totally understand what is and isn't necessary in education.
Seriously people, do you think you get smarter or more intelligent if you are hit? Because as far as I know, the results are only pain, wounds, and moreover... death.
And for those (so called) senior who hit him and caused his death, well, are you happy now? To see one of your junior die because of your totally childish behavior, and to see his mother actually mourned and cried over her son's body endlessly. If that's your goal then, I congratulate you since your mission seems to be accomplished. And yes, I'm so mad about this news, it's not the first time in our country and the government always say that they have take care about that kind of thing. Which we can see isn't true since the same case happened again, and again, and again. We all know, that kind of institution only accept students with high academic achievement, superior body condition and HUGE brain capability. So we actually lost our best children each time this kind of case happen. Seriously, people. Stop being such a bighead just because you're a senior. It's just so immature.
Next thing is about stealing, copying and plagiarism.
and yes, I was talking about that Malaysia thingie.
I just want to say that, maybe overreacting is the last thing that we need to do right now. No use at all. Why don't we try to make those Malaysian people realize that our country is such a rich country, and their acts just make the world realize how poor they are for not having any culture of their own to be proud of? I'm not saying that we need to remain calm always while our wealth are stolen, no. Still, we need to protect our own culture too, they have stolen enough. Start promoting our treasure to the world, that way they will know who's the owner and who's the thieve right?
So that's all I want to write.
over and out, nite folks.
Monday, August 17, 2009
mellow-jelloww...
paling sebel dah kalo udah kaya gini.
perasaan ada banyak banget hal yang lebih patut dan PENTING buat diurusin. catat ya, tolong. LEBIH PENTING.
kenapa kepikirannya doski mulu?
dan begonya lagi, ini jari langsung spontan aja gitu ngeklik blogger buat jadi tempat sampah.
maap ya blogger.
now I sound like a stupid teenager having a major crush. damn. (kaya kaga ajeee... dasar rachel.ckck)
perasaan ada banyak banget hal yang lebih patut dan PENTING buat diurusin. catat ya, tolong. LEBIH PENTING.
kenapa kepikirannya doski mulu?
dan begonya lagi, ini jari langsung spontan aja gitu ngeklik blogger buat jadi tempat sampah.
maap ya blogger.
now I sound like a stupid teenager having a major crush. damn. (kaya kaga ajeee... dasar rachel.ckck)
yes, indeed.
*pic from: quote-book.tumblr.com
****pic from: quote-book.tumblr.com
mari kita lupakan subjek tidak penting itu.
hari-hari ini sangat hectic. HWAA.
dengan jadwal yang (menurut gw sihh) udah rada kaya kuda, dimana keluar rumah saat hari masih subuh, dan balik sebelum jam 7 malem terasa anugerah.
dengan ini saya deklarasikan: SAYA BUTUH KEMBALI 100%!
yak yak... sekarang menjalani hidup udah (agak) kaya zombie soalnya. hehehe
dan beberapa hal yang menurut saia bisa membuat saia 100% adalah
2. Libur cukup sehari, tapi diisi dengan hangout gokil bersama teman-teman
Best way to spend a one-day holiday! Libur seminggu tapi cuma makan-tidur di rumah mahh, basi. Ada juga balik ke sekola otaknya beku. Kalo libur sehari doang, apalagi di tengah2 minggu, trus maen gokil2an sama teman sepermainan (AH AH AH) itu refreshing sangat deh. Sayangnya skrg2 ini sekalinya ada libur, pasti udah pada ada aktivitas laen. ckckck.
BTW, saturday doesn't count yah. Itu mah tiap minggu juga adee...
3. 4th PEDC 2009
Yang ini saiah sekalian promosi ah... Jadi ceritanya klub debat saiah: Phyxius Debate Association mengadakan lomba debat di SMAK 1 BPK Penabur. Trus yaa, sebagai tuan rumah, kami mengundang sekola2 laen untuk participate. Dan gw percaya acara ini bakal fun. DI HARI-H NYAAH! tolong dicatat yah.
persiapannya sih, ehm... sedikit ribet ya bok. agak2 bikin males gtu deh. Tapi gw sangat menantikan acara benerannya, wogh, asik aja gtu kayanya. Biasanya kan atmosfir kompetisi debat itu bikin stress gara2 kita yang lomba, naahh, sekarang kita yang ngadain lombanya. Masuk deb's hall kaga ketar-ketir. Ada juga ngeliatin orang ketar-ketir. yeay!
begitulah.
mari berdoa semua hal itu bisa cepat jadi kenyataan. amin. amin. amin.
hehehe.
okee, next thing is. Gw keranjingan sama cowo2 bersuara sexy heyy.
ahahaha, semua cewe juga kali ya, kaga kreatip amat nie gw.
Tapi tapi tapii, gw jadi mpe bikin playlist gtu donk di iPod, yang isinya merupakaann..
James Morrison (tentunyah!)
The Script (super H.O.T)
Rascal Flatts (country sounds nice now, thx to them!)
Jonas Brothers (bagi saia suara Nick itu sexy, menurut anda?)
ahaha, dan teman2 sebangsanya lah.
addicted. TOTALLY.
wkwkwkwk...
udah ah, over and out!
hari-hari ini sangat hectic. HWAA.
dengan jadwal yang (menurut gw sihh) udah rada kaya kuda, dimana keluar rumah saat hari masih subuh, dan balik sebelum jam 7 malem terasa anugerah.
dengan ini saya deklarasikan: SAYA BUTUH KEMBALI 100%!
yak yak... sekarang menjalani hidup udah (agak) kaya zombie soalnya. hehehe
dan beberapa hal yang menurut saia bisa membuat saia 100% adalah
- Pesta Rakyat SMAK 1, which is BESOK
2. Libur cukup sehari, tapi diisi dengan hangout gokil bersama teman-teman
Best way to spend a one-day holiday! Libur seminggu tapi cuma makan-tidur di rumah mahh, basi. Ada juga balik ke sekola otaknya beku. Kalo libur sehari doang, apalagi di tengah2 minggu, trus maen gokil2an sama teman sepermainan (AH AH AH) itu refreshing sangat deh. Sayangnya skrg2 ini sekalinya ada libur, pasti udah pada ada aktivitas laen. ckckck.
BTW, saturday doesn't count yah. Itu mah tiap minggu juga adee...
3. 4th PEDC 2009
Yang ini saiah sekalian promosi ah... Jadi ceritanya klub debat saiah: Phyxius Debate Association mengadakan lomba debat di SMAK 1 BPK Penabur. Trus yaa, sebagai tuan rumah, kami mengundang sekola2 laen untuk participate. Dan gw percaya acara ini bakal fun. DI HARI-H NYAAH! tolong dicatat yah.
persiapannya sih, ehm... sedikit ribet ya bok. agak2 bikin males gtu deh. Tapi gw sangat menantikan acara benerannya, wogh, asik aja gtu kayanya. Biasanya kan atmosfir kompetisi debat itu bikin stress gara2 kita yang lomba, naahh, sekarang kita yang ngadain lombanya. Masuk deb's hall kaga ketar-ketir. Ada juga ngeliatin orang ketar-ketir. yeay!
begitulah.
mari berdoa semua hal itu bisa cepat jadi kenyataan. amin. amin. amin.
hehehe.
okee, next thing is. Gw keranjingan sama cowo2 bersuara sexy heyy.
ahahaha, semua cewe juga kali ya, kaga kreatip amat nie gw.
Tapi tapi tapii, gw jadi mpe bikin playlist gtu donk di iPod, yang isinya merupakaann..
James Morrison (tentunyah!)
The Script (super H.O.T)
Rascal Flatts (country sounds nice now, thx to them!)
Jonas Brothers (bagi saia suara Nick itu sexy, menurut anda?)
ahaha, dan teman2 sebangsanya lah.
addicted. TOTALLY.
wkwkwkwk...
udah ah, over and out!
Monday, August 10, 2009
baby can't you see?
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
You're on the phone with your girlfriend
She's upset
She's going off about
Something that you said
She doesn't get your humor
Like I do
I'm in my room
It's a typical tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music
She doesn't like
She'll never know your story
Like I do
But she wears short skirts
I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain
And i'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time
If you could see
That i'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you
See you belong with me
You belong with me.
Walking the streets
With you and your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking
This is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench
Thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?
And you've got a smile
That could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile
Since she brought you down
You say you're fine
I know you better than that
Hey what you're doing with a girl like that
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain
I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time
If you could see
That i'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you
See you belong with me
Standing by and
Waiting at your backdoor
All this time
How could you not know
Baby
You belong with me
You belong with me.
[Instrumental]
Oh, I remember
You driving to my house
In the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me
Can't you see
That i'm the one
Who understands
Been here all along
So why can't you see?
You belong with me.
Have you ever thought
Just maybe
You belong with me?
this song is for...
well, guess who?
hahaha... put the blame on yourself, mister! You're the one who came to my head straight away when I heard this song for the first time. Why do you have to be so memorable anyway?
Friday, August 7, 2009
ketika dia pergi
sebenernya ini kejadian udah lama.
gw agak ga mau tadinya nulis di sini, but then I guess it's ok.
so, sekitar 3 minggu yang lalu, hari Rabu. gw lagi OL MSN, dan chat sama salah satu temen gereja gw, hal biasa.
tiba2 pembicaraan ngalir...
Dia: "Chel, Senen kemaren ga ikut ke Boromeus?"
Gw: "Nope, Borromeus, ngapain?"
Dia: "Jenguk Pak Rudi..."
Gw: "Pak Rudi, yang di gereja? Dokter? Papinya Samson?"
Dia: "Yep, ga ikut ya lo?"
Gw: "Nope, sakit apa?"
Dia: "Ga sakit, chel... meninggal."
gw kaget. shock.
jari gw diem di atas keyboard beberapa detik. Sampe akhirnya gw loncat dari tempat tidur dan lari ke kamar papa. Nanya ke papa, apa udah tau masalah ini.
Dan papa gw kaget. Ngomong berulang-ulang kalo dia ga percaya. Well, me neither. Gw, papa n mama sama2 liat kalo hari Minggunya beliau masih ke gereja. Tapi buat make sure, gw balik ke laptop dan nanya lagi ke temen gw, further info.
Yang gw dapet?
Beliau meninggal Minggu malem, karena serangan jantung lagi treadmill. Tiba2 jatoh di rumahnya, kecapean menurut orang2. Senin udah diadain kebaktian tutup peti n Selasa dimakamkan.
what a shock.
I won't pretend like I knew him very much, because I didn't. gw cuma tau dia itu temen papa gw, anaknya temen gw, istrinya temen mama gw, kita semua ke gereja yang sama.
And he was so kind and nice. Gw masih inget tiap gw pulang les piano atau pulang gereja, dia pasti nyempetin senyum ato sekedar tanya-tanya gimana kabar gw sama mama di rumah berdua, ato gimana kerjaan papa skrg di Jakarta. Simpel, tapi dengan itu aja gw tau dia baik.
Dia care sama orang, meskipun itu cuma seorang anak remaja yang kebetulan segereja, dan kebetulan juga lewat.
dia juga dokter. A really great one.
Dia mau ngobatin siapa aja, kadang2 free of charge kalo orangnya ga mampu bayar. Gw selalu kagum sama dia karena itu, ga banyak dokter rela kaya gitu di jaman sekarang, saat buat bayar kesehatan itu susah. BANGET.
other thing I know, dia itu salah satu aktivis di Bidang Misi gereja gw.
Dia pake ilmunya di kedokteran buat Misi. Sering banget dia ikutan kegiatan gereja ke pedalaman, kemana-mana, jadi dokter, atau kadang2 ambil bagian juga dalam penyebaran Injil. Pokonya kegiatan misi. Kemana-mana here means: dari pedalaman Jabar, sampe Papua.
Banyak orang yang mau kaya gitu?
I don't think so.
Apalagi seorang dokter spesialis yang bahkan udah punya kerjaan oke dan dibayar oke juga di kota besar. Dia masih mau nyempetin pelayanan yang bisa dibilang, JAUH dari kata enak.
ga banyak yang gw tau tentang dia. Tapi gw rasa itu cukup alasan buat gw kagum sama dia.
dan dia pergi, ninggalin isterinya dan dua anaknya yang bisa dibilang, masih kecil.
gw masih di depan laptop gw, mandangin window MSN gw sama temen gw. Sadar2 pipi gw udah basah, I couldn't believe it then, but I was crying for someone I barely even close to, I thought it was weird. Tapi sekarang gw tau, ga perlu bener-bener kenal dan deket buat merasa kehilangan. Ketika ada sesuatu yang berkesan, itu cukup bikin sedih. Dan gw rasa tangisan gw waktu ga terlalu banyak, buat seseorang yang segitu hebat.
After that I realize, mungkin kata 'kematian' ga sejauh itu. Saat siang2 kita masih sehat walafiat jalan kemana-mana bukan ga mungkin malemnya kita dipanggil Tuhan.
semoga keluarganya yang ditinggalkan dikasih kekuatan.
semoga Bidang Misi yang ditinggalkannya bisa jalan terus, meskipun ga akan selengkap ketika ada dia.
semoga semua orang bisa tetep mengenang dia, dalam sudut paling baik.
he's just too great to forget.
sedikit merasa bersalah karena saat itu gw telat tahu, bahkan hari Senin pas upacara tutup peti, gw malah lagi ngalor ngidul di PVJ, damn.
I wish I could be there, to give my last appreciation for him.
God bless u, Om Rudi... May u rest in peace.
I salute you.
gw agak ga mau tadinya nulis di sini, but then I guess it's ok.
so, sekitar 3 minggu yang lalu, hari Rabu. gw lagi OL MSN, dan chat sama salah satu temen gereja gw, hal biasa.
tiba2 pembicaraan ngalir...
Dia: "Chel, Senen kemaren ga ikut ke Boromeus?"
Gw: "Nope, Borromeus, ngapain?"
Dia: "Jenguk Pak Rudi..."
Gw: "Pak Rudi, yang di gereja? Dokter? Papinya Samson?"
Dia: "Yep, ga ikut ya lo?"
Gw: "Nope, sakit apa?"
Dia: "Ga sakit, chel... meninggal."
gw kaget. shock.
jari gw diem di atas keyboard beberapa detik. Sampe akhirnya gw loncat dari tempat tidur dan lari ke kamar papa. Nanya ke papa, apa udah tau masalah ini.
Dan papa gw kaget. Ngomong berulang-ulang kalo dia ga percaya. Well, me neither. Gw, papa n mama sama2 liat kalo hari Minggunya beliau masih ke gereja. Tapi buat make sure, gw balik ke laptop dan nanya lagi ke temen gw, further info.
Yang gw dapet?
Beliau meninggal Minggu malem, karena serangan jantung lagi treadmill. Tiba2 jatoh di rumahnya, kecapean menurut orang2. Senin udah diadain kebaktian tutup peti n Selasa dimakamkan.
what a shock.
I won't pretend like I knew him very much, because I didn't. gw cuma tau dia itu temen papa gw, anaknya temen gw, istrinya temen mama gw, kita semua ke gereja yang sama.
And he was so kind and nice. Gw masih inget tiap gw pulang les piano atau pulang gereja, dia pasti nyempetin senyum ato sekedar tanya-tanya gimana kabar gw sama mama di rumah berdua, ato gimana kerjaan papa skrg di Jakarta. Simpel, tapi dengan itu aja gw tau dia baik.
Dia care sama orang, meskipun itu cuma seorang anak remaja yang kebetulan segereja, dan kebetulan juga lewat.
dia juga dokter. A really great one.
Dia mau ngobatin siapa aja, kadang2 free of charge kalo orangnya ga mampu bayar. Gw selalu kagum sama dia karena itu, ga banyak dokter rela kaya gitu di jaman sekarang, saat buat bayar kesehatan itu susah. BANGET.
other thing I know, dia itu salah satu aktivis di Bidang Misi gereja gw.
Dia pake ilmunya di kedokteran buat Misi. Sering banget dia ikutan kegiatan gereja ke pedalaman, kemana-mana, jadi dokter, atau kadang2 ambil bagian juga dalam penyebaran Injil. Pokonya kegiatan misi. Kemana-mana here means: dari pedalaman Jabar, sampe Papua.
Banyak orang yang mau kaya gitu?
I don't think so.
Apalagi seorang dokter spesialis yang bahkan udah punya kerjaan oke dan dibayar oke juga di kota besar. Dia masih mau nyempetin pelayanan yang bisa dibilang, JAUH dari kata enak.
ga banyak yang gw tau tentang dia. Tapi gw rasa itu cukup alasan buat gw kagum sama dia.
dan dia pergi, ninggalin isterinya dan dua anaknya yang bisa dibilang, masih kecil.
gw masih di depan laptop gw, mandangin window MSN gw sama temen gw. Sadar2 pipi gw udah basah, I couldn't believe it then, but I was crying for someone I barely even close to, I thought it was weird. Tapi sekarang gw tau, ga perlu bener-bener kenal dan deket buat merasa kehilangan. Ketika ada sesuatu yang berkesan, itu cukup bikin sedih. Dan gw rasa tangisan gw waktu ga terlalu banyak, buat seseorang yang segitu hebat.
After that I realize, mungkin kata 'kematian' ga sejauh itu. Saat siang2 kita masih sehat walafiat jalan kemana-mana bukan ga mungkin malemnya kita dipanggil Tuhan.
semoga keluarganya yang ditinggalkan dikasih kekuatan.
semoga Bidang Misi yang ditinggalkannya bisa jalan terus, meskipun ga akan selengkap ketika ada dia.
semoga semua orang bisa tetep mengenang dia, dalam sudut paling baik.
he's just too great to forget.
sedikit merasa bersalah karena saat itu gw telat tahu, bahkan hari Senin pas upacara tutup peti, gw malah lagi ngalor ngidul di PVJ, damn.
I wish I could be there, to give my last appreciation for him.
God bless u, Om Rudi... May u rest in peace.
I salute you.
Friday, July 24, 2009
for the sake of our beloved world
hari ini adalah hari yang standar.
ke sekolah jam 6.30, menjalani 10 jam pelajaran
diselingi 2 kali istirahat @ 20 menit
yang (seperti hari-hari lainnya) diisi dengan ketawa-ketiwi, ngeceng sana sini
nyomot makanan, lari-larian di lorong, berusaha ngebalap guru yang udah mau masuk kelas
bel bunyi, jam 2 siang
ngacir deh ke Pascal Study Square, les Matematika
ngerjain soal selama 2 jam, dan akhirnya pulang...
biasanya gw selalu berdua naek angkot kalo pulang dari tempat les sama Yani. Tapi tadi, gw sendiri.
Dan di lampu merah (seperti biasa juga) seorang pengamen cewek nyamperin angkot dan mulai ngegonjreng gitarnya. Dia maen lagu "Heal the World"
Awalnya gw biasa-biasa aja, sibuk sama hape gw di paling pojok angkot, tapi setelah beberapa saat dia maen, I started to realize...
"Wow, she's good..."
dan tumbenan juga tu lampu merah rada lama. gw lupa sama hape gw, dan malah ngerewind lagi segala hal yang gw alami dalam sehari yang standar itu.
gw sekola di sekola swasta Kristen, di mana seharusnya anak-anaknya menganut nilai-nilai Kristiani.
tapi gw inget banget, tadi pagi gw nyuekin seorang anak kelas X yang senyum sama gw. hmm, kemana tuh KERAMAHAN yang selalu digembar gemborin jadi N2K (nilai-nilai Kristiani)?
gw juga hapal banget gimana cara anak-anak sekola gw ngomong... segala kebun binatang dan hal-hal inappropriate lainnya ga ada yang ketinggalan keluar dari mulut... mungkin gw ga ikutan dalam hal ini, tapi tetep aja, it gets me wondering
bukannya harusnya kita jadi teladan?
gw juga inget, gw udah liat temen gw, tapi gw pura2 ga liat. Terlalu gengsi buat nyapa duluan. Kenapa sih? segitu susahnya just being nice?
inget juga gimana seharian ini gw dan temen2 gw maki-maki dan make fun of seorang guru...
wow, apa kabar tuh phrase "hormati yang lebih tua"?
keluar dikit dari gerbang sekolah... di angkot menuju Pascal Study Square
seorang bapak-bapak ngerokok dengan santainya, dengan asal mengepul-ngepul dan ngga ada intention sama sekali untuk (seenggaknya) duduk deket pintu ato apalah.
ga bermaksud buat manja, tapi some people (like me) can't stand the smell of smoke. Pusingnya ga ilang2 gtu sampe gw nyampe di Pascal.
dan saat ud beres, dia buang puntung rokoknya gitu aja dengan ngelempar ke pintu.
ga mikir gimana kalo tu puntung meleset dan kena ke orang yang duduk deket pintu (which was ME!)
dan beres les, saat gw lagi jalan di tempat angkot ngetem, deket Ariyanti n Istana Plaza
a bunch of men actually do something that I think, inappropriate.
Suit-suit, ngomong2 hal-hal yang ga perlu.
Mungkin semua cewe yang biasa naek public transportation ud biasa kali ya sama hal beginian, tapi gw jadi bertanya lagi...
perlu ya kaya gitu?
hmmm... begitulah kira-kira hari gw yang standar.
dan dengan lagu Heal the World itu, gw jadi sadar.
gw dan temen-temen semua, kita adalah generasi muda dunia ini. Kita yang harus buat perubahan. mulai dari diri sendiri.
be nice, it won't hurt that much.
mind your attitude, it shows people how much you worth.
besides, you're the role model for those people younger than you.
give some credits to people older, especially our teachers. they do something noble, right?
you're not the only person in this world, so please, do care about other people.
respect everyone, treat them the way you want to be treated.
semuanya simpel kok, asal mau melakukan.
make the world a better place for living.
for the sake of our kids, and our grandkids... and all of the world's next generations.
dan tiba-tiba klakson-klakson mobil mulai balap gede2an suara lagi.
lampu merah udah ganti jadi lampu ijo. sang musisi jalanan udah ilang.
tapi dia ninggalin momen yang berarti buat gw.
bikin hari gw yang standar, jadi sedikit berarti di ujungnya.
ke sekolah jam 6.30, menjalani 10 jam pelajaran
diselingi 2 kali istirahat @ 20 menit
yang (seperti hari-hari lainnya) diisi dengan ketawa-ketiwi, ngeceng sana sini
nyomot makanan, lari-larian di lorong, berusaha ngebalap guru yang udah mau masuk kelas
bel bunyi, jam 2 siang
ngacir deh ke Pascal Study Square, les Matematika
ngerjain soal selama 2 jam, dan akhirnya pulang...
biasanya gw selalu berdua naek angkot kalo pulang dari tempat les sama Yani. Tapi tadi, gw sendiri.
Dan di lampu merah (seperti biasa juga) seorang pengamen cewek nyamperin angkot dan mulai ngegonjreng gitarnya. Dia maen lagu "Heal the World"
Awalnya gw biasa-biasa aja, sibuk sama hape gw di paling pojok angkot, tapi setelah beberapa saat dia maen, I started to realize...
"Wow, she's good..."
dan tumbenan juga tu lampu merah rada lama. gw lupa sama hape gw, dan malah ngerewind lagi segala hal yang gw alami dalam sehari yang standar itu.
gw sekola di sekola swasta Kristen, di mana seharusnya anak-anaknya menganut nilai-nilai Kristiani.
tapi gw inget banget, tadi pagi gw nyuekin seorang anak kelas X yang senyum sama gw. hmm, kemana tuh KERAMAHAN yang selalu digembar gemborin jadi N2K (nilai-nilai Kristiani)?
gw juga hapal banget gimana cara anak-anak sekola gw ngomong... segala kebun binatang dan hal-hal inappropriate lainnya ga ada yang ketinggalan keluar dari mulut... mungkin gw ga ikutan dalam hal ini, tapi tetep aja, it gets me wondering
bukannya harusnya kita jadi teladan?
gw juga inget, gw udah liat temen gw, tapi gw pura2 ga liat. Terlalu gengsi buat nyapa duluan. Kenapa sih? segitu susahnya just being nice?
inget juga gimana seharian ini gw dan temen2 gw maki-maki dan make fun of seorang guru...
wow, apa kabar tuh phrase "hormati yang lebih tua"?
keluar dikit dari gerbang sekolah... di angkot menuju Pascal Study Square
seorang bapak-bapak ngerokok dengan santainya, dengan asal mengepul-ngepul dan ngga ada intention sama sekali untuk (seenggaknya) duduk deket pintu ato apalah.
ga bermaksud buat manja, tapi some people (like me) can't stand the smell of smoke. Pusingnya ga ilang2 gtu sampe gw nyampe di Pascal.
dan saat ud beres, dia buang puntung rokoknya gitu aja dengan ngelempar ke pintu.
ga mikir gimana kalo tu puntung meleset dan kena ke orang yang duduk deket pintu (which was ME!)
dan beres les, saat gw lagi jalan di tempat angkot ngetem, deket Ariyanti n Istana Plaza
a bunch of men actually do something that I think, inappropriate.
Suit-suit, ngomong2 hal-hal yang ga perlu.
Mungkin semua cewe yang biasa naek public transportation ud biasa kali ya sama hal beginian, tapi gw jadi bertanya lagi...
perlu ya kaya gitu?
hmmm... begitulah kira-kira hari gw yang standar.
dan dengan lagu Heal the World itu, gw jadi sadar.
gw dan temen-temen semua, kita adalah generasi muda dunia ini. Kita yang harus buat perubahan. mulai dari diri sendiri.
be nice, it won't hurt that much.
mind your attitude, it shows people how much you worth.
besides, you're the role model for those people younger than you.
give some credits to people older, especially our teachers. they do something noble, right?
you're not the only person in this world, so please, do care about other people.
respect everyone, treat them the way you want to be treated.
semuanya simpel kok, asal mau melakukan.
make the world a better place for living.
for the sake of our kids, and our grandkids... and all of the world's next generations.
dan tiba-tiba klakson-klakson mobil mulai balap gede2an suara lagi.
lampu merah udah ganti jadi lampu ijo. sang musisi jalanan udah ilang.
tapi dia ninggalin momen yang berarti buat gw.
bikin hari gw yang standar, jadi sedikit berarti di ujungnya.
Friday, July 17, 2009
another sad day for the country...
another bomb...
hmm, yaya... gw denger waktu lagi di skola, dikasi tau Pa Handiman yang saat itu lge ngajar Mat...
kali ini yang jadi korban adalah 2 hotel bertaraf internasional yang bisa dibilang cukup mewah...
Ritz n Marriot
well, well.. siapa yang nyangka Kuningan mesti kena bom (lagi)?
jujur gw kecewa banget sama insiden ini soalnya
Whatever it is, tetep, ngga afdol rasanya kalo gw belum nyinggung pelakunya.
Dari dulu sampai sekarang gw ga pernah ngerti pikiran para pelaku bom itu. Secara ga langsung mereka bikin nama negara jadi jelek, mereka ngorbanin banyak orang, mereka rusak bangunan n obyek wisata, mereka nurunin devisa negara. Apa sih keuntungannya? Apakah mereka happy, puas setelah ngeliat korban yang sekarat, terlantar, menderita, berdarah-darah di trotoar. Antara hidup dan mati. Padahal salah apa mereka? Mereka cuma pergi kerja kaya biasanya, ke bank, kantor ato hotel yang ada di sana, yang KEBETULAN deket sama lokasi inceran orang2 ini... Mereka cuma lewat dan tiba-tiba mereka harus sekarat.
Barusan gw liat berita, seorang korban WNA yang terlantar di trotoar. Dia berdarah-darah. Bajunya udah dilepas dan kebayang betapa perih badannya, harus berbaring di tandu darurat di trotoar SIANG-SIANG. Timothy McKay, Presiden Direktur Holcim Indonesia, WNA asal New Zealand. Dia awalnya mungkin masih numb, dia bisa kontrol diri. Tapi liat orang-orang panik, dan rasa sakit yang mulai balik, dia juga jadi histeris kayanya. Dan dia harus tahan sekarat begitu di trotoar jalan, sampai akhirnya bisa dibawa orang ke RS. Akhirnya dia meninggal dunia di rumah sakit Medistra, setelah penderitaannya. gw liat video di mana dia kesakitan di trotoar, damn, gw gemetar.
Apa salah dia? Cuma karena kebetulan dia ada breakfast meeting di sana?
Ada lagi seorang pegawai bank yang pagi itu dianter papanya buat ngantor di Panin Bank dareah Kuningan situ juga. Dia baru aja tiba, saat bom itu kejadian. Papanya udah melesat ke kantornya sendiri. Dia harus kejatohan kaca di kepala dan leher. Masih numb dan dikendaliin panik, dia untungnya sober enough, bisa nyetop taksi sendiri dan kabur ke RS. Di sana dia baru kontak lagi papanya. Setelah ditangani baru dia histeris, shock. Yaiyalah.
Sounds a bit lucky huh? Dia berhasil ditangani paramedis tepat waktu. Tapi tetep, apa salah dia? Dia cuma mau ngantor, kenapa harus dikagetkan sama sesuatu yang mengerikan gitu?
Itu cuma sedikit dari beberapa fakta seputar kejadian bom ini.
Yang gw tahu ini juga belum tentu bener.
Tapi ada yang gw yakin bener, beberapa orang di sana luka dan bahkan meninggal tanpa melakukan apa-apa.
Yang jelas MU udah dipastikan ga bakal ke Indo. Ngga ngerti bakal siapa lagi yang takut ke Indo karena alasan keamanan dan terorisme kaya gini. Satu hal ajah... Apa sih keuntungannya kalo udah kaya gini?
kenapa masih tetap ada aja segelintir orang yang tega?
Ini jelas merugikan negara, dan masyarakat. Indeed.
Hope those people do realize that.
hmm, yaya... gw denger waktu lagi di skola, dikasi tau Pa Handiman yang saat itu lge ngajar Mat...
kali ini yang jadi korban adalah 2 hotel bertaraf internasional yang bisa dibilang cukup mewah...
Ritz n Marriot
well, well.. siapa yang nyangka Kuningan mesti kena bom (lagi)?
jujur gw kecewa banget sama insiden ini soalnya
- Indo baru terasa sedikit 'aman' karena udah ngga ada bom selama taun 2009 ini, eh tau2... spoke too soon I guess..
- MU batal dateng ke Indo... alasan keamanan yang menurut gw sangat logis sih. Bayangin calon hotel yang bakal mereka tinggalin kena bom, siapa yang ngga serem...?
- Image makin buruk, buruk, BURUUKKK
- Tentu saja, last but definitely not least... makan korban lagi.
Whatever it is, tetep, ngga afdol rasanya kalo gw belum nyinggung pelakunya.
Dari dulu sampai sekarang gw ga pernah ngerti pikiran para pelaku bom itu. Secara ga langsung mereka bikin nama negara jadi jelek, mereka ngorbanin banyak orang, mereka rusak bangunan n obyek wisata, mereka nurunin devisa negara. Apa sih keuntungannya? Apakah mereka happy, puas setelah ngeliat korban yang sekarat, terlantar, menderita, berdarah-darah di trotoar. Antara hidup dan mati. Padahal salah apa mereka? Mereka cuma pergi kerja kaya biasanya, ke bank, kantor ato hotel yang ada di sana, yang KEBETULAN deket sama lokasi inceran orang2 ini... Mereka cuma lewat dan tiba-tiba mereka harus sekarat.
Barusan gw liat berita, seorang korban WNA yang terlantar di trotoar. Dia berdarah-darah. Bajunya udah dilepas dan kebayang betapa perih badannya, harus berbaring di tandu darurat di trotoar SIANG-SIANG. Timothy McKay, Presiden Direktur Holcim Indonesia, WNA asal New Zealand. Dia awalnya mungkin masih numb, dia bisa kontrol diri. Tapi liat orang-orang panik, dan rasa sakit yang mulai balik, dia juga jadi histeris kayanya. Dan dia harus tahan sekarat begitu di trotoar jalan, sampai akhirnya bisa dibawa orang ke RS. Akhirnya dia meninggal dunia di rumah sakit Medistra, setelah penderitaannya. gw liat video di mana dia kesakitan di trotoar, damn, gw gemetar.
Apa salah dia? Cuma karena kebetulan dia ada breakfast meeting di sana?
Ada lagi seorang pegawai bank yang pagi itu dianter papanya buat ngantor di Panin Bank dareah Kuningan situ juga. Dia baru aja tiba, saat bom itu kejadian. Papanya udah melesat ke kantornya sendiri. Dia harus kejatohan kaca di kepala dan leher. Masih numb dan dikendaliin panik, dia untungnya sober enough, bisa nyetop taksi sendiri dan kabur ke RS. Di sana dia baru kontak lagi papanya. Setelah ditangani baru dia histeris, shock. Yaiyalah.
Sounds a bit lucky huh? Dia berhasil ditangani paramedis tepat waktu. Tapi tetep, apa salah dia? Dia cuma mau ngantor, kenapa harus dikagetkan sama sesuatu yang mengerikan gitu?
Itu cuma sedikit dari beberapa fakta seputar kejadian bom ini.
Yang gw tahu ini juga belum tentu bener.
Tapi ada yang gw yakin bener, beberapa orang di sana luka dan bahkan meninggal tanpa melakukan apa-apa.
Yang jelas MU udah dipastikan ga bakal ke Indo. Ngga ngerti bakal siapa lagi yang takut ke Indo karena alasan keamanan dan terorisme kaya gini. Satu hal ajah... Apa sih keuntungannya kalo udah kaya gini?
kenapa masih tetap ada aja segelintir orang yang tega?
Ini jelas merugikan negara, dan masyarakat. Indeed.
Hope those people do realize that.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
my turn...
I used to see a slightly sweet text message as something that waste my phone memory...
But, now I know
just a single text message can give you a major amount of euphoria
just a single text message can make you cry like a baby
just a single text message can get you up on your feet and dance around immediately
just a single text message can urge you to jump around without feeling silly
I used to see some certain trivial things as stupid and unnecessary
But, yes now I know
some things are not so stupid
some things are not so trivia
some things are not so useless, it's necessary indeed...
I used to let those ballad love songs pass by just like the wind
Now I know,
Those songs has the power, to relate to you, bring back those memories to you
they can finally consume you, through your veins, meet your heart
left you feeling so emotional,
force you to drop a tear, just to hold your mouth from screaming
I used to be so rational, always think that I will never let a person drives me crazy
Now, I know
I don't have the power to guarantee,
I can only let the emotions take me
I'm not that strong, and some 'certain person' can definitely drive this fragile strength of me
So I guess it's my turn now..
To 'waste' my tears on something I've never expected before
To be 'stupid' and 'silly'
To be so emotional rather that rational
To be that 'melancholic freak' that listens to a song over and over with the eyes looking away..
wondering what will happen
Laughing at me for being a dramaqueen, huh?
just wait, maybe the next is your turn...
But, now I know
just a single text message can give you a major amount of euphoria
just a single text message can make you cry like a baby
just a single text message can get you up on your feet and dance around immediately
just a single text message can urge you to jump around without feeling silly
I used to see some certain trivial things as stupid and unnecessary
But, yes now I know
some things are not so stupid
some things are not so trivia
some things are not so useless, it's necessary indeed...
I used to let those ballad love songs pass by just like the wind
Now I know,
Those songs has the power, to relate to you, bring back those memories to you
they can finally consume you, through your veins, meet your heart
left you feeling so emotional,
force you to drop a tear, just to hold your mouth from screaming
I used to be so rational, always think that I will never let a person drives me crazy
Now, I know
I don't have the power to guarantee,
I can only let the emotions take me
I'm not that strong, and some 'certain person' can definitely drive this fragile strength of me
So I guess it's my turn now..
To 'waste' my tears on something I've never expected before
To be 'stupid' and 'silly'
To be so emotional rather that rational
To be that 'melancholic freak' that listens to a song over and over with the eyes looking away..
wondering what will happen
Laughing at me for being a dramaqueen, huh?
just wait, maybe the next is your turn...
Saturday, April 4, 2009
the wind took them away
Why do I pick that title?
Simply because I am watching Friend's re-run here while typing, and Rachel, Phoebe and Mon are fighting upon a feminist book with some 'wind' analogy there inside the screen. I heard the word 'wind' and I typed it.
... well, details.
Just admit that I couldn't think of any better title, so to speak.
Okay, so... I can't help myself to write something about my current life.
which I would say... what's the word?
oh, yeah right...confusing and...
I dunno how to describe the second word, I was going to say the word 'sucks' but after I give it another think, I realize that it's not suckish enough for me to say the word 'sucks' freely.
Confusing? I know... So, here goes, stop wasting time... chop, chop!
Suddenly, the 14 ED.com last week seems so far away. Like what Teph said over and over again, the competition was more like a free 3 days vacation for us rather than a debating competition. We had fun, we walked around freely, we had a nice chit-chat session until late, we even rode home on a really comfy train (which is not our usual habit). Full of laughs, no place for any type of pressure.
I remember how we joked ourselves when we stepped off the train and headed to our parents
"Welcome back to the reality!"
I THOUGHT it was a joke. Now I realize, it wasn't.
The reality that I'm living now gives me no time to embrace the bubbly feeling that left from ED.com, I need to catch up with the tasks, the tests, the lessons, but don't get me wrong, because I'm okay with that. It's the social life that I'm not okay with,
Suddenly I faced some changes and I didn't see that coming.
Suddenly the most highly anticipated event for me, turns out to be the most minor and uninteresting thing to discuss.
Suddenly I lose my respect on someone, whom I usually adore as the person-who-always-know-what-to-do
Suddenly I lose my excitement in almost every single thing in my life
Suddenly I feel exhausted all the time and I think that I can really use a moment to take a break
Suddenly I doubt the decision that I took
Suddenly I'm not sure if the happiness, the thrill that I felt was really good for me or just a distraction to make me lost my own gravity
Heuhh, I know that if I keep on crying, whining and complaining, it will do no good since it will just turn me into a self-centered kind of human. I know that my problems are nothing compared to some people out there with more huge problems and issues. I know that maybe I'm the one who has everything to do with my own problems, I created it myself, somehow... or maybe it's actually nothing and it becomes a major thing because I'm such a dramaqueen. Possibilities.
I just hope that I will figure them out, a thing or two, so to speak... to save me from this bizzare feelings.
I dunno what to do, and I dunno what to believe
and I'm not happy with that.
I want that bubbly feelings that I had a week ago, I want to embrace the moments and memories, I want to be that happy-go-lucky kind of person again. The one who can go on and choose without too much contemplating, too much thinking.
I want those back, all of them back.
because it seems like
the wind took them away
Simply because I am watching Friend's re-run here while typing, and Rachel, Phoebe and Mon are fighting upon a feminist book with some 'wind' analogy there inside the screen. I heard the word 'wind' and I typed it.
... well, details.
Just admit that I couldn't think of any better title, so to speak.
Okay, so... I can't help myself to write something about my current life.
which I would say... what's the word?
oh, yeah right...confusing and...
I dunno how to describe the second word, I was going to say the word 'sucks' but after I give it another think, I realize that it's not suckish enough for me to say the word 'sucks' freely.
Confusing? I know... So, here goes, stop wasting time... chop, chop!
Suddenly, the 14 ED.com last week seems so far away. Like what Teph said over and over again, the competition was more like a free 3 days vacation for us rather than a debating competition. We had fun, we walked around freely, we had a nice chit-chat session until late, we even rode home on a really comfy train (which is not our usual habit). Full of laughs, no place for any type of pressure.
I remember how we joked ourselves when we stepped off the train and headed to our parents
"Welcome back to the reality!"
I THOUGHT it was a joke. Now I realize, it wasn't.
The reality that I'm living now gives me no time to embrace the bubbly feeling that left from ED.com, I need to catch up with the tasks, the tests, the lessons, but don't get me wrong, because I'm okay with that. It's the social life that I'm not okay with,
Suddenly I faced some changes and I didn't see that coming.
Suddenly the most highly anticipated event for me, turns out to be the most minor and uninteresting thing to discuss.
Suddenly I lose my respect on someone, whom I usually adore as the person-who-always-know-what-to-do
Suddenly I lose my excitement in almost every single thing in my life
Suddenly I feel exhausted all the time and I think that I can really use a moment to take a break
Suddenly I doubt the decision that I took
Suddenly I'm not sure if the happiness, the thrill that I felt was really good for me or just a distraction to make me lost my own gravity
Heuhh, I know that if I keep on crying, whining and complaining, it will do no good since it will just turn me into a self-centered kind of human. I know that my problems are nothing compared to some people out there with more huge problems and issues. I know that maybe I'm the one who has everything to do with my own problems, I created it myself, somehow... or maybe it's actually nothing and it becomes a major thing because I'm such a dramaqueen. Possibilities.
I just hope that I will figure them out, a thing or two, so to speak... to save me from this bizzare feelings.
I dunno what to do, and I dunno what to believe
and I'm not happy with that.
I want that bubbly feelings that I had a week ago, I want to embrace the moments and memories, I want to be that happy-go-lucky kind of person again. The one who can go on and choose without too much contemplating, too much thinking.
I want those back, all of them back.
because it seems like
the wind took them away
Monday, January 26, 2009
blessed...
Well, I don't know how it started, I just remembered I sat on one of my fave couch in the living room with my parents, just do some light chit-chat together (like any other families do). I felt some uncomfortable ache with my shoulders (I guess it's because I swam under the drizzly rain too long the other day, and I drank cold milk from the refrigerator after that...). So as always, my Dad kindly offered to rub my shoulders. I couldn't feel happier about that, since I know he's really good on it... so I sat in front of him willingly, and let him rub my shoulders (It did remove the pain!). Well, as he rubbed my shoulders, I didn't know how, it just began. He started to tell stories, first, it's just a really jumbled, random stories about his working days, and he also asked about mine. But in the end, I realized that he started to tell me stories about his experiences, his journey with my mother, until they ended up as a couple, husband and wife, and lately became mother and father. I was so hypnotized with that story (he's indeed a really good story teller). Since I was born with the habit to imagine everything people tell me, I did roll somekind of movie in my mind. With my Dad and Mom as the main cast. And it was beautiful, their story is indeed wonderful. Somehow, the story made me believe about fate, and true love. Like everyone has their own 'other half', hidden somewhere, if you know what I mean, and i'm not being a dramaqueen. I just find this true story, so inspiring. Now I know, I'm blessed. There must be a reason why my Dad and my Mom met (my Mom kept saying that she didn't fell in love at the first sight with my Dad), and they could maintain the long distance relationship, apart by ... I don't know how many miles, ended up married, had a child, raise a family, and there comes me. As the story came to an end, I could see them in a different way. I always thought that love stories with twisted, unclear problems that always come to happy ending are just made for the silver screen, it's not real. But somehow, they made me see that fairy tale kind of love stories can be more real that I've expected. It created me, for crying outloud. Hmm...
Well, thanks God my Mom and Dad met.
And suddenly, the story ended, and the pain on my shoulders had gone also... So I decided to go to my bedroom, turned on my laptop, and deliver this short post to you guys.
keep your faith on everything, including love, I know sometimes it's just easier to just go on, without hoping, without wishing, without considering that little thing called love. But remember, no love, no us.
It's not minor indeed, even though we always thought so. I guess it has a really major power, that we've never expected.
But, we can invisibly feel.
Well, thanks God my Mom and Dad met.
And suddenly, the story ended, and the pain on my shoulders had gone also... So I decided to go to my bedroom, turned on my laptop, and deliver this short post to you guys.
keep your faith on everything, including love, I know sometimes it's just easier to just go on, without hoping, without wishing, without considering that little thing called love. But remember, no love, no us.
It's not minor indeed, even though we always thought so. I guess it has a really major power, that we've never expected.
But, we can invisibly feel.
Monday, January 19, 2009
about this, and that
"aku ingin melupakanmu"
tapi kamu mengejar
mulai dari awan, hingga rerumputan
bahkan ketiadaanmu, membawa pikiranku
"aku ingin melupakanmu"
bisikku, sunyi
namun samar, beriring tolakan halus
tidak bisa, tidak semudah itu
aku tahu
"aku ingin melupakanmu"
bahkan angin tak mengijinkanku
ia terus membawamu padaku
betapapun aku menjauh
betapapun aku sembunyi
"aku HARUS melupakanmu"
suara bertanya, mengapa?
"karena kamu tidak membawa yang baik untukku
kamu membuatku kacau
kamu membuatku hilang
kamu membuatku,
berbeda"
dan mengapa berbeda itu buruk?
diam
sunyi
aku pun tidak tahu,
aku percaya hal yang tak logis
aku melakukan hal yang selalu kucemooh, dulu
aku sulit mengenali diriku
maka kembali, aku berbisik
"aku HARUS melupakanmu"
suara itu seakan tersenyum
bagaimana jika itu memang fase wajib untukmu?
sama seperti yang dijalani manusia lainnya?
sama seperti yang dijalani teman-temanmu?
yang mungkin dulu, kamu cemooh
"AKU TIDAK MENYUKAINYA!"
teriakku geram,
namun keheningan menepukku
menyadarkanku,
membujukku untuk merenunginya,
lagi
...
apa benar?
tapi kamu mengejar
mulai dari awan, hingga rerumputan
bahkan ketiadaanmu, membawa pikiranku
"aku ingin melupakanmu"
bisikku, sunyi
namun samar, beriring tolakan halus
tidak bisa, tidak semudah itu
aku tahu
"aku ingin melupakanmu"
bahkan angin tak mengijinkanku
ia terus membawamu padaku
betapapun aku menjauh
betapapun aku sembunyi
"aku HARUS melupakanmu"
suara bertanya, mengapa?
"karena kamu tidak membawa yang baik untukku
kamu membuatku kacau
kamu membuatku hilang
kamu membuatku,
berbeda"
dan mengapa berbeda itu buruk?
diam
sunyi
aku pun tidak tahu,
aku percaya hal yang tak logis
aku melakukan hal yang selalu kucemooh, dulu
aku sulit mengenali diriku
maka kembali, aku berbisik
"aku HARUS melupakanmu"
suara itu seakan tersenyum
bagaimana jika itu memang fase wajib untukmu?
sama seperti yang dijalani manusia lainnya?
sama seperti yang dijalani teman-temanmu?
yang mungkin dulu, kamu cemooh
"AKU TIDAK MENYUKAINYA!"
teriakku geram,
namun keheningan menepukku
menyadarkanku,
membujukku untuk merenunginya,
lagi
...
apa benar?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
feelings is... one in a million...
akhir2 ini jadi seneng nyanyiin lagu "Can I Have This Dance" dari soundtracknya High School Musical 3... Sebatas nyanyi-nyanyi buat diri sendiri sih, kalo lagi ngerjain tugas... Lagi sendirian, lagi nunggu antrian WC, lagi nungguin beli kebab, apa kek. It's best to be alone if u really want to grab the meaning of a song... Really. Soalnya waktu lagi rame2, satu-satunya hal yang melintas di kepala gwe begitu denger lagu ini adalah: Troy sama Gabriella nyanyiin ini sambil melintir-melintir bari huhujanan.
Tapi setelah gwe dalem2in lagi nie lagu... Sejayus apapun lagunya, secheesy apapun adegan yang menggunakan lagu ini di HSM 3, but the song is so damn true.
*It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
Kalo lo jomblo, tapi dalam tahap memandangi seseorang dari jauh... (atau malah dari dekat?)
Kata yang gwe bold dan cetak merah bisa lo ganti jadi "I"
It's just so damn true (once again)
Ga gampang buat 'nyerahin' hati kita ke seseorang, bahkan kalo orang itu cakepnya kaya Channing Tatum, suaranya kaya James Morrison, tajir kayak Reggie Bush, atau superjenius kayak Einstein.
If he/she is not the one. Done.
Then there's no chemistry can be made.
Ini juga bukan masalah dekat atau ngga kita sama dia. Sedeket apapun, sebaik apapun, sengerti apapun... kalo emang bukan dia. Ya bukan, abis perkara. Ngga jarang malah ternyata orangnya itu jauuhhh, ngga dikenal, out of reach. Which leads us to the hopeless attitude. Ngga ada yang bisa kita kontrol, when it comes to feelings.
Makanya kalo udah ketemu yang cocok, yah sindrom orang jatuh cinta deh. Kayak yang dinyanyiin sama Mas Troy dan Mbak Gabriella.
Kadang2 pengen juga sih bisa ngontrol nieh jantung mengarahnya ke siapa. Biar ngga hopeless, biar bisa dijangkau. Dan tentu sajah, biar gampang. (Dasar manusia yee.. pengennya gampang aja)
Tapi mau gimana deh... Bukan tugas kita buat ngatur begituan.
Kita cuma ngejalanin..
Kalo ketemu yang cocok, ya syukur... Just like what the song said.
*It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
Hhh...
Tapi setelah gwe dalem2in lagi nie lagu... Sejayus apapun lagunya, secheesy apapun adegan yang menggunakan lagu ini di HSM 3, but the song is so damn true.
*It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
Kalo lo jomblo, tapi dalam tahap memandangi seseorang dari jauh... (atau malah dari dekat?)
Kata yang gwe bold dan cetak merah bisa lo ganti jadi "I"
It's just so damn true (once again)
Ga gampang buat 'nyerahin' hati kita ke seseorang, bahkan kalo orang itu cakepnya kaya Channing Tatum, suaranya kaya James Morrison, tajir kayak Reggie Bush, atau superjenius kayak Einstein.
If he/she is not the one. Done.
Then there's no chemistry can be made.
Ini juga bukan masalah dekat atau ngga kita sama dia. Sedeket apapun, sebaik apapun, sengerti apapun... kalo emang bukan dia. Ya bukan, abis perkara. Ngga jarang malah ternyata orangnya itu jauuhhh, ngga dikenal, out of reach. Which leads us to the hopeless attitude. Ngga ada yang bisa kita kontrol, when it comes to feelings.
Makanya kalo udah ketemu yang cocok, yah sindrom orang jatuh cinta deh. Kayak yang dinyanyiin sama Mas Troy dan Mbak Gabriella.
Kadang2 pengen juga sih bisa ngontrol nieh jantung mengarahnya ke siapa. Biar ngga hopeless, biar bisa dijangkau. Dan tentu sajah, biar gampang. (Dasar manusia yee.. pengennya gampang aja)
Tapi mau gimana deh... Bukan tugas kita buat ngatur begituan.
Kita cuma ngejalanin..
Kalo ketemu yang cocok, ya syukur... Just like what the song said.
*It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
Hhh...
Monday, December 8, 2008
midnight-alone-thinking
here i am, sitting here alone... it's 00.14 and i've got nothing to do.. since i had a really-really long and satisfying nap before, i've got no intention to put my head on my pillow right now. i think i'll just stay here, wide awake with my laptop and write some stuff here or, maybe I should do absolutely nothing?? ahh, i don't think so, not my style...
maybe u realize that, if we're alone (well in my case, i'm with my laptop and the TV..) u can't help ur mind to start wondering about things that you never think of during your days. Why? well, because you've got a lot of interesting things to do than just talking to your head...
so this is what i'm doing...
first of all, i do think that i should do some writing in English, so, that's why you are reading this in English!! Hehe.. some minor changes won't hurt anyways...
second... Hh, let's just review about my current life, I go to my beloved school everyday (okay, not everyday... 5 days a week), do everything that seems like a re-run, over and over again. Don't get it wrong, I'm not saying that my life sucks. Sumtimes, I do think that I'm a little bored with this kind of life, it's like, I need something to get my head off these really tiring and common activities. And guess what... I don't have any choice to replace that word 'something' !! So I guess, I can't complain since I have no alternatives. Well, well...Thank God I have these crazy friends who keep me serious and alive at the same time. Hmmm... If I write all bout u guys one by one, it'll need one extremely loongggg post... So I think it's best for all of us if I just sum it up. Guys, you are crazy and caring at the same time... I don't know how could you be so smart yet so silly, so serious yet so clumsy, so not funny (at all... especially about that'pisan' and 'ajah' stuff) but still, can keep me on laughing. Hahaha... Those times of walking around, yelling and shouting, having a peek on the secret crushes are so precious. And I really do adore our friendship because you can keep me on going not just for fun, you also support me academically , I think 60% of my efforts on those difficult subjects is because of you guys... I guess most of the colours of my life were painted by you all, from 'curhat' to study Physics together and everything in between...So what should I say? I can't come up with anything better than this, "Love u and thank you so much guys..."
Third, my academic life has been crazy. Wew, high school is not easy indeed. I think I need to catch up on every scores (plenty actually) that I've got bad. I know there's only TAS (Final Exam) left for my final mark... Wish I can push myself to the limit. Ah, future must be better, no excuses anymore!!
Last one, my early life of High School has been a roller coaster... So many ups, downs and things that I can't decide if it's up or down. Like my feelings for this guy. I know that it's just so impossible, but yet, I still dreaming about it. What should I say, I can't take full control of my feelings. I wish I could, but the fact is, I can't. So I guess all that I can do is just let it flow. I don't want to let it end with no effort, I don't want to forget it. But I just don't want to be controlled by it, like one of my friend say "Don't let something that's still uncertain hold your life back, it's not yours and maybe it will never be..."
So, from now on, I think I'll just chill and let everything go with the flow. Time to concentrate on the other things far more important than that...
Woof, I guess that's all... Not too long, but honestly... This post took quite long time... Hmmm, I think I'll go to bed now. It's way too late... Hahaha... Cya...
maybe u realize that, if we're alone (well in my case, i'm with my laptop and the TV..) u can't help ur mind to start wondering about things that you never think of during your days. Why? well, because you've got a lot of interesting things to do than just talking to your head...
so this is what i'm doing...
first of all, i do think that i should do some writing in English, so, that's why you are reading this in English!! Hehe.. some minor changes won't hurt anyways...
second... Hh, let's just review about my current life, I go to my beloved school everyday (okay, not everyday... 5 days a week), do everything that seems like a re-run, over and over again. Don't get it wrong, I'm not saying that my life sucks. Sumtimes, I do think that I'm a little bored with this kind of life, it's like, I need something to get my head off these really tiring and common activities. And guess what... I don't have any choice to replace that word 'something' !! So I guess, I can't complain since I have no alternatives. Well, well...Thank God I have these crazy friends who keep me serious and alive at the same time. Hmmm... If I write all bout u guys one by one, it'll need one extremely loongggg post... So I think it's best for all of us if I just sum it up. Guys, you are crazy and caring at the same time... I don't know how could you be so smart yet so silly, so serious yet so clumsy, so not funny (at all... especially about that'pisan' and 'ajah' stuff) but still, can keep me on laughing. Hahaha... Those times of walking around, yelling and shouting, having a peek on the secret crushes are so precious. And I really do adore our friendship because you can keep me on going not just for fun, you also support me academically , I think 60% of my efforts on those difficult subjects is because of you guys... I guess most of the colours of my life were painted by you all, from 'curhat' to study Physics together and everything in between...So what should I say? I can't come up with anything better than this, "Love u and thank you so much guys..."
Third, my academic life has been crazy. Wew, high school is not easy indeed. I think I need to catch up on every scores (plenty actually) that I've got bad. I know there's only TAS (Final Exam) left for my final mark... Wish I can push myself to the limit. Ah, future must be better, no excuses anymore!!
Last one, my early life of High School has been a roller coaster... So many ups, downs and things that I can't decide if it's up or down. Like my feelings for this guy. I know that it's just so impossible, but yet, I still dreaming about it. What should I say, I can't take full control of my feelings. I wish I could, but the fact is, I can't. So I guess all that I can do is just let it flow. I don't want to let it end with no effort, I don't want to forget it. But I just don't want to be controlled by it, like one of my friend say "Don't let something that's still uncertain hold your life back, it's not yours and maybe it will never be..."
So, from now on, I think I'll just chill and let everything go with the flow. Time to concentrate on the other things far more important than that...
Woof, I guess that's all... Not too long, but honestly... This post took quite long time... Hmmm, I think I'll go to bed now. It's way too late... Hahaha... Cya...
Friday, December 5, 2008
Kalo kesempatan dibiarin pergi...
kalo kesempatanmu masih jauh...
akan harapan dari mimpi terbesarmu
kamu menunggu, kamu mengeluh
seakan kesempatan itu sengaja menunda kedatangannya
sehingga dia patut disalahkan atas jauhnya jarakmu pada mimpimu
Then, u are in ur ordinary days...
Saat kamu hampir lupa akan mimpi besarmu
dia datang, kesempatan itu tiba
kesempatan BESAR itu tiba
apa yang harus dilakukan?
Just touch it, grab it...
Itu kan yang selalu kamu inginkan?
Tapi kamu diam, kamu malah menjauh...
kamu ragu
Dan dunia berkata, apa yang kamu lakukan?
Kenapa kamu diam?
Kamu sendiri ngga tahu...
Mungkin resiko itu terlalu besar
Mungkin kesempatan itu terlalu cemerlang
hingga menyilaukanmu dari keyakinanmu sebelumnya
keyakinan yang begitu pasti, tak tergoyahkan
or at least...
KAMU PIKIR tak tergoyahkan
mungkin kamu takut merusak mimpimu
mungkin kamu takut langkahmu gegabah dan salah...
mungkin kamu punya segala alasan yang mungkin benar
mungkin juga hanya alibi mu
karena ternyata lebih mudah untuk lari
lebih mudah untuk sembunyi
lebih mudah untuk berpura-pura tak peduli
dan kembali ke kehidupanmu yang tanpa ancaman...
kehidupanmu yang datar
Well, now you're back
Kamu berpikir, tentang keputusanmu untuk lari...
What was it?
play safe?
wise?
or stupid?
Lalu,
bagaimana dengan mimpimu?
Masih menyalahkan kesempatan,
yang tak kunjung datang?
get real...
Kamu tau bukan itu masalahnya...
Sekarang kamu seakan jalan di tempat
Kamu tetap di spot yang sama
kembali berkhayal akan mimpimu
dan menunggu lagi kesempatan itu datang...
....
hmmm...
yakin kesempatan itu bakal datang lagi?
Atau dia udah takut ngga dimanfaatkan
dan memutuskan untuk ngga kembali?
akan harapan dari mimpi terbesarmu
kamu menunggu, kamu mengeluh
seakan kesempatan itu sengaja menunda kedatangannya
sehingga dia patut disalahkan atas jauhnya jarakmu pada mimpimu
Then, u are in ur ordinary days...
Saat kamu hampir lupa akan mimpi besarmu
dia datang, kesempatan itu tiba
kesempatan BESAR itu tiba
apa yang harus dilakukan?
Just touch it, grab it...
Itu kan yang selalu kamu inginkan?
Tapi kamu diam, kamu malah menjauh...
kamu ragu
Dan dunia berkata, apa yang kamu lakukan?
Kenapa kamu diam?
Kamu sendiri ngga tahu...
Mungkin resiko itu terlalu besar
Mungkin kesempatan itu terlalu cemerlang
hingga menyilaukanmu dari keyakinanmu sebelumnya
keyakinan yang begitu pasti, tak tergoyahkan
or at least...
KAMU PIKIR tak tergoyahkan
mungkin kamu takut merusak mimpimu
mungkin kamu takut langkahmu gegabah dan salah...
mungkin kamu punya segala alasan yang mungkin benar
mungkin juga hanya alibi mu
karena ternyata lebih mudah untuk lari
lebih mudah untuk sembunyi
lebih mudah untuk berpura-pura tak peduli
dan kembali ke kehidupanmu yang tanpa ancaman...
kehidupanmu yang datar
Well, now you're back
Kamu berpikir, tentang keputusanmu untuk lari...
What was it?
play safe?
wise?
or stupid?
Lalu,
bagaimana dengan mimpimu?
Masih menyalahkan kesempatan,
yang tak kunjung datang?
get real...
Kamu tau bukan itu masalahnya...
Sekarang kamu seakan jalan di tempat
Kamu tetap di spot yang sama
kembali berkhayal akan mimpimu
dan menunggu lagi kesempatan itu datang...
....
hmmm...
yakin kesempatan itu bakal datang lagi?
Atau dia udah takut ngga dimanfaatkan
dan memutuskan untuk ngga kembali?
Monday, October 20, 2008
about feelings n stuff....
Kenapa sih ngerti perasaan sendiri aja susahnya minta ampun??
Bingung, bingung, bingung...
Kalo di bbrp posting sebelumnya gwe nyebut-nyebut tentang crush, well... masih nyambung...
Karena sekarang gwe merasakan sedikit peralihan (atau pembagian) perasaan, atau jangan-jangan sebenernya ngga ada apa-apa... Cuma gwenya aja yang kelewat melankolis...
Si 'crush' yang gwe ceritain sebelumnya tuu bener-bener stranger, gwe nyaris ngga pernah share something personal sama dia, tapi dia bisa bikin gwe merasa... 'klik' (Ussy kali...). Cliche, I know... Tapi jujur, gwe juga manusia biasa dan gwe mulai jenuh dengan si 'crush' ini... Yang ada tuh cuma pandangan jauh, share senyum dikit, ngga ada sesuatu... Sekarang, di saat gwe mulai hopeless sama si 'crush' gwe ini (yang gwe anggep sangat amat tidak mungkin)... tiba-tiba, puff!! Muncul deh dia... orang baru yang bener-bener baik, bisa bikin gwe bener-bener nyaman... Bertolak belakang sama si 'crush', who always drives me crazy and make me feel a rush... bukannya gwe ngga suka sama si 'crush' dan efek-efek yang dibawanya, mereka berdua tuh ngasih gwe 2 hal yang bener-bener beda. Si orang baru ini selalu menetralkan semuanya, seakan-akan dia bisa bikin gwe slow down dari perasaan gwe buat si 'crush'... And above all that, dia tuh terkesan nyata, buat gwe yang udah menganggap si 'crush' itu khayalan doang... Gwe tauk gwe tuh masih kelas 1 SMA dan hal kayak begini baru buat gwe, gwe juga tauk hal kayak gini tuh sama sekali ngga penting buat sebagian orang... So gwe juga berusaha untuk ngga terlalu ngabisin waktu gwe cuma buat mikirin hal ini doang...
Banyak yang bilang kalo perasaan itu tumbuh sendiri, dan kita nggak akan bisa menjelaskan alasannya... (Kayak kata-kata Eun-Soo di Endless Love Korea: "Kalau benar-benar cinta, kamu nggak akan bisa menemukan alasannya...")
Tapi apa mungkin? Karena kita semua sama-sama tahu bahwa sebagian besar (atau semua?)manusia itu bukan tipe yang tulus murni, makhluk yang memandang segala sesuatunya itu unconditional... Kayak cinta sejati yang orang-orang suka bicarakan...
Kita juga tahu orang selalu bicara bibit-bebet-bobot... Buktinya, di hidup kita aja sehari-hari deh... berapa kali sih kita bisa bilang kalimat "Ah, dia bukan tipe gwe..." atau "Gila, ga banget deh sama cowok ngerokok... Bukan tipe gwe..." Tapi ketika kamu udah jadian sama seseorang, kamu akan bilang dia itu cinta sejati kamu... Apa bener, mengingat kamu menyertakan segala 'tipe, karakteristik, dll' dalam memilih seseorang utuk kamu sayangi... Apalagi kalau udah ke jenjang lebih serius, married. Apa seringan itu kamu hanya membicarakan cinta, kalau ada... ya udah, nikah... Nggak juga, kan? Pasti segala aspek ditilik, entah itu tampang (demi perbaikan keturunan), kerjaan (buat ngasih makan), kepribadian (mobil pribadi, rumah pribadi, perusahaan pribadi)... Nah kalau udah begitu, apa pasangan hidup yang dianggap sudah lulus semua kriteria itu bisa disebut cinta sejati juga?
*erh, gwe tauk bahasa postingan gwe kali ini rada2 najong, i just can't help it soo, I'm sorry....*
Bingung, bingung, bingung...
Kalo di bbrp posting sebelumnya gwe nyebut-nyebut tentang crush, well... masih nyambung...
Karena sekarang gwe merasakan sedikit peralihan (atau pembagian) perasaan, atau jangan-jangan sebenernya ngga ada apa-apa... Cuma gwenya aja yang kelewat melankolis...
Si 'crush' yang gwe ceritain sebelumnya tuu bener-bener stranger, gwe nyaris ngga pernah share something personal sama dia, tapi dia bisa bikin gwe merasa... 'klik' (Ussy kali...). Cliche, I know... Tapi jujur, gwe juga manusia biasa dan gwe mulai jenuh dengan si 'crush' ini... Yang ada tuh cuma pandangan jauh, share senyum dikit, ngga ada sesuatu... Sekarang, di saat gwe mulai hopeless sama si 'crush' gwe ini (yang gwe anggep sangat amat tidak mungkin)... tiba-tiba, puff!! Muncul deh dia... orang baru yang bener-bener baik, bisa bikin gwe bener-bener nyaman... Bertolak belakang sama si 'crush', who always drives me crazy and make me feel a rush... bukannya gwe ngga suka sama si 'crush' dan efek-efek yang dibawanya, mereka berdua tuh ngasih gwe 2 hal yang bener-bener beda. Si orang baru ini selalu menetralkan semuanya, seakan-akan dia bisa bikin gwe slow down dari perasaan gwe buat si 'crush'... And above all that, dia tuh terkesan nyata, buat gwe yang udah menganggap si 'crush' itu khayalan doang... Gwe tauk gwe tuh masih kelas 1 SMA dan hal kayak begini baru buat gwe, gwe juga tauk hal kayak gini tuh sama sekali ngga penting buat sebagian orang... So gwe juga berusaha untuk ngga terlalu ngabisin waktu gwe cuma buat mikirin hal ini doang...
Banyak yang bilang kalo perasaan itu tumbuh sendiri, dan kita nggak akan bisa menjelaskan alasannya... (Kayak kata-kata Eun-Soo di Endless Love Korea: "Kalau benar-benar cinta, kamu nggak akan bisa menemukan alasannya...")
Tapi apa mungkin? Karena kita semua sama-sama tahu bahwa sebagian besar (atau semua?)manusia itu bukan tipe yang tulus murni, makhluk yang memandang segala sesuatunya itu unconditional... Kayak cinta sejati yang orang-orang suka bicarakan...
Kita juga tahu orang selalu bicara bibit-bebet-bobot... Buktinya, di hidup kita aja sehari-hari deh... berapa kali sih kita bisa bilang kalimat "Ah, dia bukan tipe gwe..." atau "Gila, ga banget deh sama cowok ngerokok... Bukan tipe gwe..." Tapi ketika kamu udah jadian sama seseorang, kamu akan bilang dia itu cinta sejati kamu... Apa bener, mengingat kamu menyertakan segala 'tipe, karakteristik, dll' dalam memilih seseorang utuk kamu sayangi... Apalagi kalau udah ke jenjang lebih serius, married. Apa seringan itu kamu hanya membicarakan cinta, kalau ada... ya udah, nikah... Nggak juga, kan? Pasti segala aspek ditilik, entah itu tampang (demi perbaikan keturunan), kerjaan (buat ngasih makan), kepribadian (mobil pribadi, rumah pribadi, perusahaan pribadi)... Nah kalau udah begitu, apa pasangan hidup yang dianggap sudah lulus semua kriteria itu bisa disebut cinta sejati juga?
Gwe cuma bingung, (dan penasaran) apa sih yang membuat seseorang special buat kita, dalam arti kita bisa disebut punya'feeling' sama dia?
Apakah karena dia baik dan bisa bikin kita nyaman?
Apakah karena dia lulus semua kriteria kita?
Atau karena hanya dengan melihat dia jantung kita bergetar udah kayak mau copot dari rongganya??
Hmm... Jangan-jangan ketiganya, atau malah ngga ada di situ jawabnya?
*erh, gwe tauk bahasa postingan gwe kali ini rada2 najong, i just can't help it soo, I'm sorry....*
Monday, October 13, 2008
is it real or just another crush...???
Baru2 ini gwe denger lagunya David Archuleta-Crush... Lagunya tuu remaja banget, yah, istilahnya mah, untuk umur2 gwe lah gitu... C Archuleta juga kira2 17-an gitu kannn... Cukup mewakili perasaan sih, taulah... buat yang pernah merasakan 'sesuatu' buat lawan jenis di masa2 sekolah...
Kayak yang gwe rasain sekarang mungkin, woof... roller coaster! Liburan kemaren, lama nggak ngeliat, gwe berusaha meyakinkan diri gwe sendiri kalo ntu bnr2 cuma ngeceng, tapi tnyata, begitu masuk sekola lagi, sama aja... Balik lagi kayak awal, ngeliatin dari jauh. Temen2 gwe selalu bilang "Chel, wajar lagi lo suka sama dia.... Dia emang punya alesan buat disukain..." Ngek, really? Karena gwe sendiri ngga ngeliat satupun alasan yang bisa bikin gwe suka sama dia... Ha5, ngga tau juga deh... Gwe tau, kedengerannya pasti super duper klise kalo gwe bilang, pertama gwe liat dia, mata gwe langsung locked ke dia, dan gwe automatocally tahan napas... (nggak, gwe ngga ngeliat dy di dasar kolam... dan dia bukan ikan.) tapi bener, gwe langsung ngga konsen deh, ngomong juga jadi ngelantur, mana waktu ntu gwe lagi ngobrol sama temennya lagi... (ADUH, BEGOBEGOBEGO....)
Pokonya mah gwe ngerasanya stupid banget kalo udah ada dia... Senyum2 ngga jelas, pura2 ngga ngeliat padahal sebenernya pengeeeennnn banget melototin mpe mata gwe keluar... Mungkin ini yang dimaksud dengan crush... Dan waktu sebelumnya gwe bilang "gwe meyakinkan diri sendiri kalo ntu cuma ngeceng", well... gwe jujur, karena gwe ngga suka keadaan di mana gwe bisa berlaku bodoh gara2 seseorang. Siapapun yang gwe ceritain tentang ini selalu ngomong "Nikmatin aja..." well, surprise, gwe nikmatin saat momen itu, tapi begitu gwe review lagi gimana tampang gwe, gimana tingkah gwe... OMG sooo stupid, temen2 gwe semua mpe senyum2 ndiri liat gwe (xialan, xneng amat liat temennya malu...)
Kenapa ya, tiap gwe denger nama dia (well, nama dia rada pasaran sihhh...) gwe langsung kaget, diem bentar dan noleh ke arah suara, atau tiap liat dia, jantung gwe empot2 an, sampe gwe bnr2 disconnect selama bbrp detik (Another cliche, i know... but it's true!) Kalo mau jadi archuleta sihh...
Is it real or just another crush?
Hmmmh... Let's just wait n see....
Kayak yang gwe rasain sekarang mungkin, woof... roller coaster! Liburan kemaren, lama nggak ngeliat, gwe berusaha meyakinkan diri gwe sendiri kalo ntu bnr2 cuma ngeceng, tapi tnyata, begitu masuk sekola lagi, sama aja... Balik lagi kayak awal, ngeliatin dari jauh. Temen2 gwe selalu bilang "Chel, wajar lagi lo suka sama dia.... Dia emang punya alesan buat disukain..." Ngek, really? Karena gwe sendiri ngga ngeliat satupun alasan yang bisa bikin gwe suka sama dia... Ha5, ngga tau juga deh... Gwe tau, kedengerannya pasti super duper klise kalo gwe bilang, pertama gwe liat dia, mata gwe langsung locked ke dia, dan gwe automatocally tahan napas... (nggak, gwe ngga ngeliat dy di dasar kolam... dan dia bukan ikan.) tapi bener, gwe langsung ngga konsen deh, ngomong juga jadi ngelantur, mana waktu ntu gwe lagi ngobrol sama temennya lagi... (ADUH, BEGOBEGOBEGO....)
Pokonya mah gwe ngerasanya stupid banget kalo udah ada dia... Senyum2 ngga jelas, pura2 ngga ngeliat padahal sebenernya pengeeeennnn banget melototin mpe mata gwe keluar... Mungkin ini yang dimaksud dengan crush... Dan waktu sebelumnya gwe bilang "gwe meyakinkan diri sendiri kalo ntu cuma ngeceng", well... gwe jujur, karena gwe ngga suka keadaan di mana gwe bisa berlaku bodoh gara2 seseorang. Siapapun yang gwe ceritain tentang ini selalu ngomong "Nikmatin aja..." well, surprise, gwe nikmatin saat momen itu, tapi begitu gwe review lagi gimana tampang gwe, gimana tingkah gwe... OMG sooo stupid, temen2 gwe semua mpe senyum2 ndiri liat gwe (xialan, xneng amat liat temennya malu...)
Kenapa ya, tiap gwe denger nama dia (well, nama dia rada pasaran sihhh...) gwe langsung kaget, diem bentar dan noleh ke arah suara, atau tiap liat dia, jantung gwe empot2 an, sampe gwe bnr2 disconnect selama bbrp detik (Another cliche, i know... but it's true!) Kalo mau jadi archuleta sihh...
Is it real or just another crush?
Hmmmh... Let's just wait n see....
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